oh dear

Feelings are much too complicated. They always come about at the most inopportune times and for the most inconvenient people. Apparently sometimes more than one person.
So many thoughts to sort. 

I don't want to feel this way anymore.

It's like I have forgotten how to be happy. And it's nothing to do with anyone else, it's me. Literally the only time I don't feel like I'm sleeping through my life or inside my own sad world is when I am painting alone in my room. And even that gets lonely.
I don't know what to do anymore. I feel over dramatic. And I hate to complain to my friends. I hate to talk about it in general. 

well spoken

This kid, Graeme Taylor, is so incredibly well spoken and just an amazing person over all! We need more people like this in the world.

emptiness

I need something healthier to fill my empty spaces. I have more of them that I used to and my motivation to actually actively live my life is gone. I sleep a lot. I make bad choices. I have emotional extremes. 

Tattoos vol.2 :P

I went for a consult for my tattoo that i was going to get in memory of el salvador and my mission trip but what I wanted to get is physically impossible if I want the tattoo to last... soooo. My mum and I have decided to get a mother daughter tattoo. It's going to be really awesome :) She is going to get "to the moon and back" on her arm because we used to always say i love you to the moon and back when i was little. And I am going to get a realistic image of the moon in between my shoulder blades. I really love the idea because I know that I am never going to regret a tattoo that represents my mum and it will be in a hidden area for the most part. So it's great :D We just have to go in and book it soon. I will probably get it when I get back from Edmonton over xmas. We will see how it all works out.

Release

I need to release some stress tomorrow and this weekend. I am starting to feel it in my body as well as in my mind. I can't dance as well, I ache, I feel nauseous on and off, and I am just so tired. It's really not a good thing to be this stressed for this long. It's really tough on my body. 

WE DAY

WE DAY TOMORROW!!! I am really excited :D