the triggers are everywhere. 

Out Grown?

I don't come onto this blog much anymore. I'm not sure if it is because I am too lazy to write down my thoughts, tumblr is much more interesting, or I have just simply outgrown the need to put my angsty thoughts onto the world wide web. I feel a sort of obligation to this blog, however, because I have had it for at least four years now, if not more, and there is a lot of my life contained in this webpage.

I have been doing a shit ton of artwork as of late, though. I think maybe that is how I've learned to cope with all of my feelings, because those are still wild and out of control as usual.
I do want to write more, possibly only for myself though.

I have decided to go into journalism, which is strange because I've never been massively into creative writing and the such, but I need a career in which to express myself. Hence journalism, most likely photo journalism though, if I can find my niche in that specific specialty. Maybe writing my random and fleeting thoughts down on paper will help me develop some sort of style and voice in my writing. I guess I am saying that I am a little lost in what I want to do with my life, vs. what I actually think I am good at. I was told today by a friend that I am a good writer. Literally the first time anyone has ever said such a thing to me, and yet I am already accepted into the faculty of journalism at my local university. Skill level really hasn't been on my mind until recently. I'm terrified that I won't make the cut when it is time to go out into the world and actually write about things that I am passionate about.
I have such big dreams. They feel a little over my head actually.
            somewhere
                                            really
                                                                      far
                                                                                         from my grasp.

So maybe I should write more of my thoughts here, it is a good place to do such things, a blog. Sounds so juvenile, but that is still acceptable as I am only 17, and my thoughts are alike in this juvenile nature.


In a sea of people who seem to be so creative in their writing, where does a person like me belong?

Work that much harder, I must. 

looking up

So my friends are pretty amazing. All of them. They are so there for me.
I am off to Edmonton on Friday for the entire winter holidays and I will miss everyone so much!
There is a certain someone I am quite crazy about at the moment and I will miss her as well :)
I really hope I don't scare her away...
We'll see what happens I guess.

I missed the feeling. Happy. 

Got a tattoo!

So I've officially been inked.... ow first of all!
But I can't wait to see it all healed :)
It's a moon
for my mum
like i described before.
I'm really tired, it was stressful!
nap time xD 

thank god

Pretty much exactly 12 hours later my term paper is emailed to my teacher. 6 pages of brilliant crappy essay-ness. I actually think it's quite terrible, but mostly because of the subject matter. It cannot be helped now.
Now I must focus on the 19243492074238 other things I must accomplish before the christmas break. 9 more days of school, how is it possible to have so much to do?!?!

term paper

I have to write my entire english term paper today since I left it to the last minute :D I'm super smart sometimes.

I've had this thrill so many times...

I really don't know what to trust right now. My feelings that are taking over my brain, or my brain that tells me to talk everything out with everyone involved... bleh