☂curious to know...

I am curious to know if certain people will continue to read my blog -_-

This is day 1983075987987................ of not talking to my father..... he never calls.
I did talk to my nana the other day though so that is good :)
I hope that my sister is holding up... and that she is not being used as a therapist for my step mother still... because that is how she treats her. That is just wrong.

Why is it that we must always have someone to blame? No one ever takes responsibility for their actions. My step mother blames my littler sister for taking things away from her siblings because her skiing costs so much. She has one dream... you cannot blame her for that. She wants to go to the Olympics. And she is good. Really good. She wants to go for skiing and if she is properly supported by her parents she will make it. I know she has it in her. She has god damn letters taped to her wall in her room that she wrote to herself promising herself that she will make it to the Olympics. And my step mother makes her feel like her dream is stupid and that it is taking away from her other siblings. But it is the one and only thing that she wants in life... so why can't you just let her dream and work for it. Because she works for it everyday of her life. She keeps up with her school work and she goes above and beyond to get it done so that she can take the time she needs off of school to race. She has more determination than I could ever have. I mean sure... I could have been a great dancer if we had the money... but I would have also needed a heck of a lot more determination. I would love to be an amazing dancer. To dance for a living... it would be amazing. I would love it. But I am not willing to give up so much of the life that I would also like to have to support it. I want to be able to go out with my friends on the weekends. I want to be able to settle down somewhere, "home", and not be traveling all the time for dance. But my sister... she is willing to give up all of those things... she has no dreams of getting married and families and those things like I do. She dreams of coming across the finish line first and everyone screaming her name. She dreams of the adrenaline rushing through her body as she nails a ski run and wins gold for Canada. She does not deserve the guilt of wanting a dream so beautiful.

yours,
a dancer.