☂if only

My house is so stressful right now. I cannot stand it much longer. i feel like I am going to throw up sometimes because I am so worried or stressed about my parents. It is so hard. This week has been horrible. I can usually handle stress. But not this time apparently. I cannot focus. My homework is suffering because of it. I am actually handing in assignments late... it's not like me! I just can't seem to stay on task when there is always a new development. S has started drinking. My mum goes out for coffee often because she cannot handle the pressure either. My body is actually feeling the effects of the stress. I can't eat like I usually do. I am not hungry often. I know I should eat but I do not want to. S lost 15 lbs just this week because she is not eating pretty much anything at all. I am so worried for her. I need a night off. To get away. Just one would be fine. That's all I ask right now. All of the material things I want right now are just to distract me from this all. I am spending money to keep myself happy... it's sad really. None the less I am getting a camera possibly next weekend. I just want to be able to leave the house with the excuse that I am going to go experiment with my camera. I don't wish this never happened... but I do wish it was over with already. I just wanted this summer to be amazing. Because it was supposed to be.

yours,
a dancer.