☂love at first sight? possible? yes? no?

I think yes and no. Because I would not love someone if I had not at least talked to them. Love at first sight is by definition just lust. They want you for your looks. But I can fall in love with the first smile, sentence, and meaning in their voice. I also fall in love with the past of the person and the way they tell stories. So I do not think that the first time you see someone you can love them. Only once you begin to get to know them can you be sure. Maybe it is a gut feeling "one day i will marry him" but that feeling cannot be true or confirmed unless you know them better. If you do not love their past them you cannot love them.
I am just saying random sentences that come to my head. I am sorry. I do not make sense today. But then again life does not make sense.

yours,
a dancer.

☂Christmas

Since I am going to my dad's for xmas this year we celebrated early, today! I got lots of cool things:) I got books and clothes and boring lotion and stuff. The best was I got a full acrylic paint set that folds out with pencil crayons and oil pastels! It is pretty kick ass! I also got an easel!!!!!!!! HOW SWEET IS THAT!!! I can finally paint at home! And I get a few canvases to start off. I have to experiment before I get bigger ones.

Our basement is being finished this year and my room and my mom's is already framed! I am going to have a big closet and I get to paint a mural on my wall after it is done! I have to get on what I want it all to look like when it is done! I have no clue! And I have to decide what I want my furniture to look like! Because once it is done I am getting a bedroom suite. I have never had furniture that actually goes together before! I am excited! I finally have a room that I will be able to do whatever I want to, because it will be mine until I move out. I have never had that, so most of the rooms I have had weren't painted my way. I mean they were decorated, but everything was temporary. That's because we moved around a lot though... I kind of want my room to look vintage, but I also want it to be in parts modern. I don't know exactly what I want yet. I will have to search the internet for ideas! ooo the internet! I could not live without it!

I have been neglecting blogger for a while! Tumblr has been what I have been on for a while! haha. It is just easier I guess. Don't really have to think about what to write about because most of what I post is pictures.

I can't wait to see my nana and papa and uncle mark! I miss them so much! I guess it's cool that I am seeing my dad too... and my sibs I miss... but I don't know them anymore. They are so different from me! It is so hard to get to know someone who has a mother that hates you... even if they are your brother and sisters.


Ideas for my room?

yours,
a dancer.

☂tattoos

When I am older I definitely get a tattoo. I really like these ones that I found but I would change them a little. I want something simple and small enough that I can easily cover it up and it wont prevent me from looking classy in certain outfits still.

I want something like this only with small birds.

I want them to fly in a strange line like that but I want to birds to look more this shape:

I don't want it on my shoulder though, I want it either on my hip like this:

or on my side but only half way up, not as high as this:

Tell me what you think!

yours,
a dancer.



UPDATE: This post was made a very long time ago, or so it seems, I have no intention of getting any of these kinds of tattoos anymore. 

☂the ugly truth

Today I watched the ugly truth and I started thinking about men. What the fuck goes on inside their heads? And what do they think about us? Women I mean. Do we seem like a silly game to them? I mean I know that they can love us, but is it only fun to love for them? or is it a physical need like it is for women? Or for me I should say. I have been told that everyone needs to feel loved and that is all good and swell, but when men are loved, why do they sometimes have a wondering eye then? Not all guys do, I am not hating on guys, and I know I have an amazing one. You just hear stories all of the time about men cheating on their wives and I think to myself... that woman could have loved him for all he is worth and he still cheated on her. Is love not enough for men then? Or at least these men that cheat on their loving wives?
I love men but what is going on with you guys?

yours,
a dancer.

☂Stolen from jasmin and BI

FIVE things you wish you could say to FIVE different people right now:
my fam in alberta: I MISS YOU!!!!
my parents: stop being overprotective... i am a responsible person
wade robson: omg you are GOD... teach me EVERYTHING!!!!!!!
myself: calm down don't get carried away
dad: stop being afraid of picking up the damn phone.

TEN things about yourself:
I read, draw and on on the computer like no tomorrow!
I wish I never quit piano...
I love soccer even though I rarely play and suck at it when I do.
I watch so you think you can dance like it's a religious practice.
I am in competitive hiphop this year!
I daydream all the time.
I distract people from the truth with humor.
I used to wear my heart on my sleeve...
I don't anymore.
One of my idols is lana turner:)

SEVEN ways to win your heart:
be unpredictable
be yourself
respect me and yourself.
get along with my dogs:P
make me laugh
make me feel beautiful
make me feel celebrated as a person when I am with you.

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:
ahhhh i need to get fit for dance!
i wonder if my new system for note taking will work out this year...
jeremy<3
what are we having for dinner?
who will be my teachers this year?!??!?!?!
i can't believe I can drive in half a year!
where is my sketching pencil????

FOUR things you do before you fall asleep:
do all the preparations.
read
listen to my ipod
roll around on my bed trying to fall asleep! haha

FOUR things you see right now:
sketching pencil
water bottle
tv (sytycdc is on!)
one of my dogs

THREE songs that you listen to often:
eet-regina spektor
banana pancakes-jack johnson
a dance 'round the memory tree - oren lavie

TWO things you want to do before you die:
travel to all the corners of the earth
have a passionate kiss in the rain:P

ONE confession:
I think the one thing i am afraid of most is the one thing i want the most.

yours,
a dancer.

☂a question for the ages...

how do you know if you're in love? Or maybe I know and I am scared. Or maybe not and just confused all to shit...
does it really matter though?
because i am happy the way we are:)
why does it bug me then?
I don't know if i can offer anymore than I already have.

yours,
a dancer.

☂hello "dad"

So he finally phoned last night... well he had my sister phone so that he didn't have to talk to my mother. He is such a coward sometimes. It's not like she is going to bitch him out on the phone! Life seems all good on their end. But you never know. They seem to hide things from me... my oldest little sister has caught on though and keeps me informed. They have been fighting a little lately... nothing new from usual. Of course when I asked my father what was new he said same old... I HAVEN'T TALKED TO YOU IN 6 MONTHS! SAME OLD COULD BE TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM WHAT I KNOW AS SAME OLD! NOTHING HAS CHANGED?!?!?! gawd...

I wish I coulda said it... 

Colleen already tried to lecture me on religion... i am like SHUT UP in my head... i hate her with a passion. 

Since when is it ok to not call your daughter for 6 months and then call her like nothing had changed and all is right with the world?

yours,

a dancer.

☂Question

Is there still a way to get to a follower's blog through your followers box???

yours,

a dancer.

☂How?

How do you know if a guy likes you?

Comments are very very helpful!

yours,

a dancer.

☂Health Class

No I am not going to talk about some disgusting teacher's views on sex. Today in health class we were talking about characteristics of ourselves. How people see us, how we see them, how we see ourselves, and how we want to be seen. It really got me thinking about how, how I see myself is so very much different then how other people see me, and how that is so much different from how I want to be seen. I am very loud around people. I always say what I'm thinking and I am sometimes (maybe more than sometimes) am very, ummm... suggestive, not in the way i dress, but in the way i act and what I say. I am also funny and loud and not afraid of anything (except spiders!). I am pretty much care free. But on the inside (when i'm not around people) I am very quiet and shy(not really really shy, but more afraid of people hating me because of what I think). Because of my suggestive actions people think that I will be the first to entertain that certian Health Topic. That is not me. I am so afraid of being that girl who gets pregnant before she can get a good education that I don't even try to get boys to even like me. If they do then that's great, but I'm too young and too busy to have more worries on my mind. I am horrible at meeting new people because I never remember their name and I have to ask them 50 thousand times. I feel bad for the things I say to people sometimes. And I am most definately not care free. I have to worry about lots of things: if my father will ever call, if my sisters and brother still know that I love them (they live with my father and my step mother,evil if u will, tells them that I don't love them), marks on my report card, university, who I can trust, and who i can't, and finally what do I want to do with my life, and who do I want to become? Don't be mistaken I don't hate myself. I just don't like some of the tings I do or say. I am totally different from what people see me as. And I hate that.

yours,

a dancer.