school is more important than my social life (repeat in head)

world issues.
wha... what
I should really be studying... should have been all day, but instead I decided chillin with the peeps at a school function would be smart. I'm so very smart. At least I'm no longer failing world issues.... I have like a 60%.... still not the greatest.
This november progress report might be bad news. I have to apply for university this month. I've been procrastinating. Should get on that. I will print the shit off this week sometime.
I'm in the mood to sit around and draw and paint. I have a couple ideas of the things I would like to do.
Hopefully this week is no where near as stressful as last week. 

so uhhh

I'm not quite sure where life is about to lead me right now. There are so many different possibilities all over in my life and nothing is decided and nothing it really known. I am super stressed about it all because I really don't like not having the answer. I don't really like planning out my future but at the same time I need to do at least as much as decide on a university now. Friends are being pretty solid right now though. Love all you guys. Hope you know that. Trying to be more open about my personal life with the people I trust... slowly it's working but still not the greatest. And as per usual my love life is in a constant state of meh.
k cool.

getting better?

Talking is good. Even if it means me being incredibly awkward and saying some things that probably shouldn't be said out loud ever. But I guess it's time to move on from all of this. I know the process has already started, the motives are there, but actually making the effort to move on is bleh.
I just know that if I don't I will end up hurting again. So new things, new people, new experiences here I come. Hard thing is trying to not completely leave everyone old in the dust. I'm trying my hardest. Try and see that. 

going through the actions.

There are very few moments in which I feel alive lately. School is just me there robotically listening to everything around me and being around my friends is the same. The only time I feel alive is that rare time when somebody touches me, not out of joke or accident, but because they care or because they just feel the need to touch me. I guess it's not all people either. Only the ones that I know that touch counts from. The spontaneous hug that holds on too long because they know I don't want to let go. Those people who refuse to be isolated from what is in my mind. I am so thankful for those people, because without them, I would have no one. 

Boys and Baseball

Today was Trevor's 3rd birthday! I can't believe how fast the years go by. I remember when we moved into our house next to them and Cameron was just a month old, and now he's going into kindergarden! They are so cute :)

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Cabin

I spent the weekend at my best friend's cabin and it was a ton of fun. I wish I could waste away my entire summer there. It is beautiful. And at night I swear you can see every single star possible to see. I did a lot of things I've never done before. Like tubing and cliff diving and skinny dipping :O It is really freeing haha!

12 hours

so many hours to spend with the same group of people. Usually I would get annoyed with people and leave early, but today I stayed until the very end. It was a lot of fun. We were outside nearly the entire day and it was so nice to be in the pool. I love days like today in summer. It makes me feel so much like a 'teenager'. I even drove myself to the party and home. Although I got in trouble for being 15 mins late... oops!
So far this summer has been the best one yet :)
I love my friends.

relay marathon

So I did the marathon relay with my friends this morning and jesus... i need to start running more! I got really bad stitches and couldn't run the whole thing :\ I just want to be able to run and feel free and have the fun aspect :P Not be dying because of pain in my side. I am actually going to train for next year, it was fun and I'm just assuming that I'm going to be doing it with them again.
It probably wasn't the smartest idea to stay up until 1 in the morning with everyone the night before.... :P oh well! 

Summer

It is hard not to think that when you are done classes you are done with school, but no, there are exams to remember. But while I am forgetting them for a moment, I am so excited for this summer! So many exciting things to happen :) I am off to El Salvador on a mission trip in two weeks! And then Folk Fest is right after that. Along with the many other random activities that summer brings about. And Rock on the Range :)
I really hope that this summer is as fun and as social as last summer was, if not more!

Random summer memories:

running

So I was talked into running in a marathon relay for next weekend because people dropped out of the group that was originally going to do it and so on. So I've started running, and I've always been pretty terrible at running fast or any type of races but I think long distance might not be so bad. I just ran 3 miles in 35 mins which is not terrible at all. I don't think I could do it quite as fast outside because the treadmill forces you to keep running fast, where as when you're outside you can just slow down lol
I only have to run 7km of the marathon but that's still pretty huge for me because running has never been my thing! 

loud and proud!

Pride this year was a lot of fun! The pararde itself was not as good as last year but I think me and liam and laura had a blast :)
These are just a few of the many pictures I took. I didn't take as many as last year though, a lot of it would have been the same then.
Sons of York preformed :) And so did my old dance teacher Tyrell Witherspoon!

AND A DRAG QUEEN COMPLIMENTED ME ON MY SHIRT xD SCORE!

gay pride!

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Girls nights :)

Last night was girls night. Which means there were no boys.... but lots of talk of them. :P
I think the consensus was that boys suck.
And that I looked butch with my new hair and plaid shirt xD

in marty's hot tub

Tonight was fun. I was tryin to chillax. Everyone was super hyper at the beginning of the night. I was just tryin to not get sucked into the hype and not piss people off lol.
But everyone calmed down so it was chill.
I had a lot of fun :)
I vote that the next marty party has to be a girls night though. They are always a blast :) Even if we do keep our tops on lol. Topless-ness is not the necessity!
Im tired.
night.

first party?

I went to my first real 'party' on friday night and it turned out to be just people chillin out in a university dorm. There wasn't anything exciting happening and no one got drunk or anything. Just when I thought I was going to witness something eventful :P
But it was still a really fun party! Got hit on multiple times. Made a couple new friends and talked with some of the grade 12s that I hadn't in a long time. I love that group of friends. They all seem so chill. Or maybe I'm just more chill with them because I don't know about all of the drama that happens in their group. That's also possible.
Well whatever, I had a great time. :)

Dear Elena,

I have one view from australia today.
Hello.
that is alls

God is a sadist

In the words of a friend "god is a sadist". She may or may not have been referring to the stomach wrenching pains that are cramps, but on a lot of days I feel like this statement is completely accurate.
Today is one of those days. No, I am not rolling over in pain from cramps (happy dance), but a friend of mine is going through shitty situation after shitty situation and they don't seem to be stopping or even slowing down. And it's things that you can't even stop. Things that I can't even make better or make her feel better about. I really wish that I could make her feel better. Sometimes it feels like listening to what she's going through and giving her a hug is not nearly enough. And the fact that people who call her a friend wander through their days completely oblivious to what she is going through, and are seemingly unconcerned about it. I'm not saying they all do, it's just some people are not very considerate sometimes.
Lately the universe, or god, or whatever controls or does not control this thing we call life is not being very considerate of a great person.

Stop it universe.

Aussie

Sweet about me - Gabriella Climi

... she also sings 'warm this winter' and she's from australia... she'd always be warm LOL

Tomorrow is the physics mid-term. I really hope that mr. v. doesn't like pull some crazy ass problems out of the air and stick 'em on there because I might shit bricks if he does. As long as he doesn't try and mind fuck us then I should be okay. Since I understand what we have been doing in class.

... I feel weird about not having anything to do this weekend. Friends wise. I feel the need to socialize.
I guess my english project needs to be done though... :(

GOODBYE ELENA!

I can't believe she is leaving us :'(
Going off into the big world and exploring australia for half a year!
haha I am mixed with sadness and jealousy... I don't know which one to be more!
 Have fun babe :D

heated blankets :3

THESE THINGS ARE THE BEST FUCKIN INVENTION EVER !!!!
KAFAHDFNLADFALKDFALDNFALDFALDNFMNVIEH

SO
GOOD
HEAT
xD

First two days back in dance class since before the break (Y) All is well and I am not too sore yet!

School is a pain.
Friends are being good.
Elena's going away party on tuesday :( Im unhealthily jealous of her... going to live in australia for 6 months! ug what even!
AND JASMIN CAN DRIVE! wot