☂ignored

I have been ignoring blogger for the past few days. I guess it is because there is nothing all that exciting that I can report. I have been doing homework off and on and hanging out with friends a couple of times.
Tomorrow night I am going over to one of my guy friend's house for a movie night/ bon fire with a couple of people. Should be fun:) The first summery party of the year! I hope that there are a ton of parties this summer! I am 16 after all! And I kind of want to experience some more wild things... I am always too safe! Although lately that has been changing a lot... I have been taking some pretty risky chances with my heart. But I think it is safe where I am keeping it :)
I cannot stop thinking about him!
I am a girl possessed!

I have been thinking about future events like prom and my wedding and what I want to wear. I think for prom maybe just a simple black dress like audrey hepburn style that goes straight across the shoulders and dips in the back:) I could get more than one use of a dress like that! I would wear it all of the time! And for my wedding it really depends where it will be... because I think the dress should suit the location. But if I get married at my nana and papa's farm in the field like I kind of want to then maybe I will wear a white knee length dress that is flowy and classic:) With lots of lace and buttons down the back.
I don't know... these are just my ideas now. I am sure they will change many many times before the actual event!

yours,
a dancer.

p.s. check out my new obsession of the week :)

☂before

Before I used to imagine myself taking part in tragic love affairs that end up working out but have a seriously complicated plot line. I used to imagine falling in love in a foreign land or getting swept off my feet by some random man or finding out that I secretly love someone I openly hated. I have a very active imagination due to the books I read (past and present tense). I thought of extravagant settings and men that were creative and witty. Possibly falling in love at Oxford or NYU. All of these things don't go away of course. You still think of them. But as you start to grow up you realize that many of those fantasies could be only that, fantasies. I have found love without the complicated plot line and the far away places. And I love it just the same. It is real. He is real. I love reality.

yours,
a dancer.

☂Bible Camp

So I said that I would tell you all about it today since I was overly tired last night haha. I still am a little tired but not nearly as much as last night! The first three days of camp our school group (the 5 of us + a nun from Lesotho) volunteered at LARSH. It was a lot of fun! We cleaned three different houses of their's in the city and did some yard work as well. Cleaning some of the mentally disabled people's rooms (or as they call them the "core members") was really interesting. It was kind of like we got to know them through their things. We actually did get to meet a couple of the core members but not many since the time we were volunteering was also the time that they were at their work places. The most memorable three were definately R, T, and RS. R loved authority and as soon as we met him asked who was in charge. He was hilarious! When asked why he wants to go to germany his response was "the beer". I was like "this is my new best friend:P"! T was so cute! She couldn't talk but she would sign things in her own way. Bowling, swimming, and clown all were signs demonstrated. And when asked who is the clown she would point at R who would promptly point right back at her! Their relationship was clear to all of us. T liked R but R would have nothing to do with her. haha. RS was one of the less serious cases and at a different house from the other two. He would ask us all questions about himself and tell us stories. He was in the Special Olympics! How cool is that!? He pulled out his photo album of people he knows and then after pulled out the one of him in Disney World. I have almost the same pictures as him only I am in them instead of him haha. After Volunteering we would go back to the school for our daily prayers and dinner and socializing with our sister school students. They are all so nice! Of course i got them all on fb and msn... or email for those who had neither. On the Wednesday night we went to this place on the river... wont mention the name or it will clearly reveal my location, and we went shopping and walked around. It was fun. We had more time to hang out with the others which was good! Then after that we went to an ice cream place (best in the city) and the people that own the place's son goes to our brother school and is in our grade so we took stalker pictures of him and said hi after everyone inside turned to look at us and he saw us haha. It was epic. On the Thursday we didn't go to our volunteer places. Instead we had a big presentation on human trafficking. It was really emotional. It really made me realize how close to home it is. We listened to some songs that are for this project some of our teachers are working on with local artists to raise awareness of human trafficking. They were AMAZING! I really want them but they haven't been released yet so ya. We are going to try to raise awareness of human trafficking in our school. That is our project for the year. I am also going to join human rights team at school... and newspaper haha. Mrs. G/J (could start with either) was back from Lesotho! She is such a sweetheart! She was newspaper leader when I was on it in grade 7 and she immediately recognized me. I was her fav of the week ^_^ We never went to bed on time haha. Mama woji let us stay up if we were quiet which rocked! We were tired but we held in there. We all got really close this week. haha between sam licking my face and having intense emotional talks with mama woji, alana, keanna and sam. It was awesome! On the thursday night we went bowling... glow bowling! even better! haha. Sam's shirt like showed up the rest for the glow aspect! I sucked so bad it was sad! Literally SAD! The Lesotho nuns kicked some serious ass even though it was their first time! haha. Yesterday morning it was just goodbyes:( I was sad to leave! It felt like home at that point! Mama woji is such a sweetheart and made us all cards! I am glad to be in my own bed but I think I would have loved it to be a way longer camp! I am sure the rest of us agree! Mrs. m cooked for us the whole week. For dinners anyways. It was great food! Props to her for doing it! At the second LARSH house we volunteered at they had a piano and f (nun from lesotho) and keanna serenaded us for a while on it! It was really awesome. Keanna fell in love with practically every boy we saw haha. Two very hot and german haha... guess why she now wants to go to germany:P

Songs of the week= every mj song! and unfortunately and fortunately at the same time ... "hands" by Jewel.  I think that that is all that needs to be said for now. I am sure I will remember more as the week goes on and post about it.

yours, a dancer.

☂Our Birthday Party

Me and my friend had a joint birthday party today and it went really well. We raised $310 for breast cancer research instead of having people buy us gifts. We pretty much just hung out and talked and played games because our outside party was rained out. Which kind of sucked but it was still fun:) Allie and Jenny played chess for a good part of the party... haha they are such noobs:P Jeremy stopped by to give me my gift and card (which everyone read and went awwwwwww:P). I love the bracelets^_^ they are so pretty. I feel so bad for the people that were going to rotr today! Including jeremy! it was raining so hard and it was kinda chilly:( But I hope that it's still fun anyways:) Because there are some really good bands playing.  And the people that I know going are really siked about it:) I went to alex's bday party last night. It was a blast but I couldn't stay until the end because my mother is like that:( My mom also thinks that his house is alexis's house because she wouldn't have let me go if she knew it was a boy's house;P that is all for the day:) other than the fact that i am watching the exorcism of emily rose:) It is a great movie.... too bad SOME people I know will not watch it with me:( Because it's a scary movie:P yours, a dancer.

☂Meeting the parents

The event that strikes fear and excitement in many people's hearts when it is that time in the relationship. I am not as scared as I am excited but like what if I make a total fool of myself!

Advice?

yours,

a dancer.

☂missunderstanding

i hate when this happens
gawd
I am not a hoe!
I do not want to have sex for a very long time. Yes the kissing in public was a little much but it wont happen again. I really like him.. it's not like i only want to be with him to like sex him or whatever you think. I am sorry if someone thinks i am a horrible person. but i try my hardest not to be!
For the record we did not leave kyra alone for an hour while making out. it was more like 5 mins after she called her mom cause ish's parents were later than planned.

leave me alone.

on a brighter note:)
i get to see jeremy tomorrow. he is coming to see me at my 3 hour spare. It will be a blast! we are going to eat and talk and hang out in this random park near my school. :)
yay!

maybe listen to a little bit of she's so leaving;)

my mom is working late tonight so i have to ride my bike to dance... first time even though i live sooo close to the studio!
last dance studio of the year:( well at least in hiphop! and then jazz is tomorrow night!
i will be in competitive hiphop next year. or at least that's what i hear:S cross your fingers!!!!

well i should probably study:S
science test tomorrow and the exam on friday
math i should be ok for though
....
sure lets go with that:P
i might have to ask jer for some help tomorrow on some things... if that's ok:)


tootles!
yours,
a dancer.

☂OMG!!!!!!!!!!! :P

So tonight was the big night. The first kiss. :::::::::))))))))))))))
haha

the whole night was amazing;y fun. The rides weren't the best but w.e. that's not what I was there for:P

so ya we went on many rides, talked, almost lost kyra, got told to get a room:S, saw a concert, held hands, ate pizza, threw gum off the ferris wheel, made kyra feel like a third wheel... well she was:S, got called pretty by a girl i just met... sketch? or compliment?, watched emma make a fool of herself... when is she not:P jkjk.

I felt so bad when that mom came up to us and told us to get a room! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
But it was totally worth it!!!!
Does that make me a hoe??? ... nope

it cost me a lot of money wow.
still worth it:)

yay:)

yours,
a dancer.

☂summer lovin' having a blast....

So I guess it's getting more serious now. I don't know if he thinks so... I hope so:P I really hope this friday picnic thingy works out!
P.s. anyone can come!!!!! just msg me if you want to! (tlkin to my friends if there are creepers reading this)
I really like talking to him. It very natural and I tell him anything and everything. No lies. The way it should be:)
I don't know if I am altogether ready for a serious relationship... I mean I am only (almost)15 and he was my first date but I think I chose pretty damn good for a first:P
I can't wait to kiss him! awwwwwwwwwww he is so sweet

god i promised myself i wouldn't be one of those girls that only talks about the boy friend! It is really hard! :)



Today I had ortho... retainer check.... yes i have one:(
I only have to wear it full time for 5 more months and then it's all good! yay!
(then only at night) which isn't that bad.
At least I don't have braces anymore!
god i do not miss those!

i wonder what it's like to kiss someone with braces:P mental note... ask Ish:P

I am almost done ss project. All we have to do is finish adri's voice overs and then cut a whole bunch of shit out to make it shorter cause it's going to be too long:P
we did waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy too much research for this thing!

ew
I also have to finish Flowers for Algernon. which if you read my bookshelf you can read more about me freakin out bout that:P

and sketchbook.... one drawing... it's good but.... i need way more than one... shit;p

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


yours,
a dancer.

☂I hope you read this:)

WARNING: there will be gushing and mushy-ness in this post:P

I couldn't stop thinking about you all night! I told you you are hard to forget:P
I couldn't hold my excitement in so... I went on my anime chat room (yes I am on one of those!) and I told them all about you... no names of course! :P

It is better than holding it in and bursting!


yours,
a dancer.

☂Terminator!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to see the terminator movie... didn't pay attention to it all that much:P but it was still really good! and fyi no we did not make out... but it was still amazing! He is so sweet! I wish I could rant and rave about all that happened but that is not for everyone to know:) yours, a dancer.

☂waiting

i am waiting for "bullfrog" to come back from dq with his mom...
i am bored
and have to keep from falling asleep:P
sooo
i thought that i would post


so i told "bullfrog" all about how I am not myself most of the time and how the only 3 people who really know me are "ish" and adri and "truth teller". and even they don't know all of me
i have trust issues
which sucks
and we were having a really deep conversation over msn about all of this. so i am happy that i am finally telling someone this.
it feels good
i just hope that this time it wont come back and bite me in the ass.
I trust him though. so he wont be the one to bite if there is biting involved.

yours,
a dancer.

☂thanks to a friend named emily (a that's what she said experience)

no it is not the scovinator:P
it is my dance friend emily
and we were talking about boys
and she didn't believe that I have friends that are boys
so she said
"do these boys have vaj***?" (jokingly)
and i said
O_O
"no no no no no, they have full blown penis', don't worry"
O_O
I didn't even realize what I had said until she burst out laughing and then i was a little mortified!
Accd i thought that you would appreciate this:P

and jer
i am not a retard that posts about penis' all the time. it's just apparently it is a very popular topic lately:P


yours,
a dancer.

☂penis'

yes accd,
I do agree with you. They are not gross (although I have never seen one really)
But the things that people do when they are not ready with them is. Yes when you are an adult and fully prepared for the consequences of using them they are magical beings that are i dunno magical:P
They are gross when men think with them.
And I also agree that if you don't want a guy to get a boner at a dance then don't rub all over him!!!!!!!
It is as simple as that!

there my my ode to accd's ode to a penis:P


yours,
a dancer.

☂R

R arrived safely and she is so fun! I miss her:( when she isn't here.
We went shopping today.
I didn't get anything.
But I get money instead for the trip to europe next year. That's ok though. I don't need anything and I do need money for the trip:P

I am thinking of calling him tonight since i am alone all night!?!?!? What do you think????? Because I know he has football tonight. So I don't know when to call him:S
HELP!!!

yours,
a dancer.

☂I LIKE YOU

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i like you

i like you

i like you

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you are so sweet and such a cutie! 

I might even have a chance... but maybe we are just friends. Maybe we are past the point when we can get together. Maybe it will be ruined if we change the relationship:S

please do not ask who I am talking about... if you know then fine... but do not comment his name... just don't ask.

yours,

a dancer.

☂My Weekend

So, a weekend in the life of me goes something like this....

1. sleep until 11

2. do some homework for like 40 mins before getting distracted

3. shower

4. babysit (they are so adorable!)

5. not do homework even though it would've been a good idea

6. sleep until 11

7. do homework off and on

8. finish homework

9. I think I eat a couple times in there

10. chillax

11. talk to people on msn for endless hours

12. wine about it being monday tomorrow

13. get excited about getting my braces off tomorrow

that is pretty much every weekend for me:(

it is really depressing!

I need a life!

accd HELP!!!

:P

omg

the oc

i miss it

i just turned it on

and omg

i miss religiously watching it every day at 6 o clock. 

It was amazing times

SETH!!!!  I want a man like that!

yours,

a dancer.

☂Boys

Yes boys, we all love them! Unless you are a boy yourself! Or u r a boy and u do love them, that's cool too! but that is unimportant! When I find a guy that I really like(because there are not many that I do like) I fall hard for them. Which really sucks beacuse most of the time they are guys that I can't have:( For instance, I met this guy last summer. I mentioned him some time ago, anyways, we spent the whole day together. It wasn't a really big deal, we exchanged emails (at the time i didn't have msn:( ). He never emailed me and I wasn't down about it or anything. But now he's all I think about! I had never met a guy like him. First of all he likes to read! Biographies and history books! He is funny. And even though we had only spent the day together he seemed to know what I was thinking or what I was going to say before I said it. He didn't play all the games. He just showed that he liked me. He was the first guy that ever demonstrated any interest for me. He lives in a different province though, and that is why I can't have him:( I will probably never see him again. And yet I still think abut him. Why do I do this to myself when I know it's not possible?

yours,

a dancer.

☂

I am now back from the lake and am at my dad's house. The lake was so much fun! I got to see a good friend of mine and I met an amazing boy, but I won't say much more about him in case he happens to read this. We went to an amusment park yesterday, and although it is nothing compared to disney land it was still fun! What has everybody else been doing?

yours,

a dancer.